First 5-star Amazon review: 50 Shades + Star Wars + Carl Hiaasen = Luke

This was the first review of Luke posted on Amazon. This lovely person will always have my undying gratitude, whom ever she is...

The 5-star review:

Tons of fun. Carl Hiaasen meets Star Wars meets 50 Shades of Gray meets Elmore Leonard. It's not much of a spoiler to let you know this a sexed-up parody of Star Wars, set in Las Vegas, as you'll figure that out quite quickly.

The Death Star is now the Dark Star, a new 10,000 room brothel that will monopolize the sex industry in Nevada and practically enslave its workers. Darth Vadar is David Vaddio, the force behind the Dark Star. Obi-Wan appears as a retired mobster who lives by The Code. My favorite re-imagining is probably the Millennium Falcon as an RV, but Chewbacca as a mute who shares his thoughts in a journal is a close second.

It's a quick read. It does a great job of engrossing you in a new story, while eliciting chuckles at Star Wars moments.

Al and Leanne do not look alike

From Chapter 22

It is hard to believe that Al is Leanne’s father. Leanne is beautiful. Even on the hastily taped video message, she is drop dead gorgeous. Al is not. Ugly doesn’t quite apply, because the guy smiles so much it somehow counteracts his big, lumpy nose, his oversized ears, his bulbous, insect-like eyes, his bumpy complexion, and the absence of any trace of a chin. He looks like the offspring of a fly and a gorilla. How he could have fathered Leanne is a mystery to Luke.

But what a nice guy! Luke had been expecting a smarmy, abusive, womanizing brute. Instead, Al turned out to be friendly, jovial, always grinning, and caring. He asked about not just Leanne, but also Luke’s aunt and uncle, and Luke himself. Al had promised to help in any way he could. After talking to Al, Luke felt for the first time in a while that things might turn out okay.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DOMWB6M

Three five-star reviews on Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/Luke-ebook/dp/B00DOMWB6M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1376709038&sr=8-1&keywords=luke+aaron+cohen

I now have three five star reviews. Woohoo! I can't you how good that feels. Entertain even that many people is somehow a rush and makes me want to do it again.

Writing of the next novel has begun,.

Kirkus Review Says Luke Is "Hilarious" And "A Page-Turning Adventure"

I'd been waiting for the Kirkus review to come in for almost two months. I was ready for the reviewer to hate it. I had to be mentally prepared for a bad review.

Turns out, I didn't have to do that. The reviewer liked it. He (or she) really liked it!

Here it is...

LUKE

Cohen, Aaron D.

$14.99 paperback, $2.99 e-book

BOOK REVIEW

Cohen’s debut, a reimagining of Star Wars set in the underworld of Las Vegas, is a page-turning adventure full of allusions for fans of the movie series.

What if, instead of battling “in a galaxy far, far away,” Luke went on his Jedi journey in the sands of Nevada and did battle with the vicious Empire Gaming instead of the Empire? 

Cohen’s novel gives the answer: It trades light sabers and blasters for brass knuckles and .38s, “the Force” for the Code, and Stormtroopers for suit-wearing thugs who complain about wearing jackets in the desert heat. Instead of Princess Leia, there’s Leanne—a beautiful madam fighting to protect the rights of the prostitutes who work for her. Artie, a code-cracking little person, plays R2-D2; the lecherous, smooth-talking Cecil is C-3PO. Darth Vader? He’s David, a monstrous former wise guy who suffers from asthma. Luke is still Luke, but in this incarnation, he has an unstoppable sex drive and an unfortunate penchant for getting beaten up.

The rest of the cast is here as well, including the drug-running war vet Hank (Han Solo) and his growling, tongueless Samoan sidekick Charlie (Chewie). As in the movie, the characters do their best to stop an evil empire, but instead of saving planets, they’re protecting strip clubs, adult bookstores and other Vegas outposts. Empire’s plan is to legally outlaw pole dancing and limit prostitution to hotels with 10,000 or more rooms. It just so happens that it owns the Dark Star, the only establishment that meets the criteria. Cohen’s writing is crisp, and his dialogue snappy. Seeing elements of the classic space adventure adapted to Sin City is often hilariously entertaining. The novel sticks closely to the source material but deviates enough to maintain interest. While the plot begins to slow toward the end, Cohen’s writing holds the tension, while also preparing for possible sequels.

Delivers action and laughs with its memorable characters and dialogue, despite a dip in momentum before the finish.

https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/aaron-d-cohen/luke/

Interview with myself...So, About Darth and David...What Gives?

Q: Okay, so David is Darth Vader. However, David is a perverted sociopath. Vader is a military genius who just happens to need an exo-suit to survive. Isn’t David just a bit too dark and violent?

A: Are you out of your mind? My David is a pussycat compared to Darth Vader. About 30 minutes into the Star Wars, Vader destroys an entire planet, just to prove a point. Ask the citizens of Alderaan if Darth is more or less evil than a CEO with a murderous streak. By my count, David has killed 10 maybe 20 guys. Darth kills several million in the first movie alone.

Q: Wow, I never thought about that.

A: Well think about this. At the end of Jedi, the scumbag, genocidal Darth gets redemption and his ghost gets to hang out with the ghosts of Ben and Yoda. It’s bullshit. That bastard should be in the same circle of Hell with Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot. I don’t care that he killed he emperor. That one good deed does not make up for killing an entire fucking plant. So, sorry Vader fans, Darth is a rat bastard and deserves no slack because he got dipped in lava and abandoned by his friends. (Though, that was pretty messed up.)

Interview With Myself - Why is Luke is NC-17?

Q: And another thing. Star Wars was written for 13-year-old boys. "Luke" has a couple graphic sex scenes and a ton of sexual references. What is he matter with you?

A: Luke is not written for 13-year-old boys. It is written for adults who might have fallen in love with Star Wars at 13, but still love it today. I wrote it for me, kind of. There was no bigger Star Wars fan growing up than me. These days I’m an adult, have lived a varied and interesting life, and so my taste in entertainment has matured. I like dark stories, challenging stories, and artistic stories. With Luke, I tried to combine these two things I love, Star Wars and gritty, funny, dark crime noir tales.

Q: Is that your excuse for the dirty parts? You consider yourself an artist?

A: Yes.

Q: What’s next? You going to turn “The Cat In The Hat” into a story about a male stripper with a taste in quirky headgear who deals heroin door-to-door?

A: I thought of that. So don’t tempt me. I could do it. It would rhyme and everything.

Get a signed copy of Luke for free!

Want a signed trade paperback version of Luke? 

Just read it, and write an Amazon review. Send me the screenshot of the review and your address to 107reader@gmail.com. 

Do that, and I will send you a signed copy! And one day, you'll be able to give it to your grandkids and explain to them that books were once printed on paper.

(While supplies last. I have ten copies.)

Interview With Myself - Part 2 - I Am Not James Joyce

Q: Are you saying you're worthy to even mention James Joyce when discussing something you wrote?

A: Don’t be a dick about it. I never said I was James Joyce. What I am saying is that I was inspired by Ulysses. I was fascinated with the idea of telling the story of a common man while using the same structure as an epic filled with bigger-than-life heroes.

Q: But you didn’t write that book. I’ve read Luke. It isn’t about the humdrum life of the common man. It’s a crime story with action scenes, car chases, sex, BDSM, and pot jokes. Did you fail in your goal?

A: Do you have to be so negative? Look, my first attempt to write a Ulysses was a failure because it was boring. No one wants to read about a guy's day-to-day routine of going to meaningless meetings and staring at a computer screen. It was too painful to write, much less to read. Going the crime story route turned out to be much more interesting.

Interview with myself - Part One

Q: What is Luke?

A: Luke is a parody of Star Wars. But it isn’t silly. It is crime story with bits of dark humor in same vein as Elmore Leonard or Carl Hiaasen. Parodies don’t have to be goofy. What parodies do is make a statement about the source material.

Q: What are you saying about Star Wars then?

A: I’m saying this is the modern worlds Odyssey and Luke is our Ulysses. He is the hero who takes the journey and arrives at his destination a changed man, a hero, scarred, wiser but better than he was.

LUKE - Now on Sale

So after a bunch of stops and starts, I final finished my novel. It is called Luke. This is what it looks like...

It is now on sale at Amazon. You can buy a Kindle version or a print version.

Want a free signed copy of the trade paperback version?

If you write a review of it, send a screenshot of the review and your mailing address to 107reader@gmail.com. Do that, and I will mail you a signed copy!

(While supplies last.)

Here is the link to buy it...

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DOMWB6M

Let me know what you think! Thanks much.